How Many Coffee Tables Does it Take to Elect A Mayor?

First, the Miss has received yet another Bloomie brochure and it is bordering on the same kind of nuisance as getting a Pottery Barn catalogue every week!  Exactly how many coffee tables a month are we supposed to buy? 

How many ways can we not vote for Bloomberg?  How many new neighborhoods can he create a week, and sell to us?  How many  times can we sob all over the glossy pages of the weepy tales of how Bloomberg saved Mr. and Mrs. Robicellis from poverty?   Let me count the ways...later.

Tonight it is off to Scott Turner's now infamous Rocky Sullivans' Quiz Night.  It was to be the first night one of the most hidden roof top gems of Brooklyn, alas, stupid rain!

More fun with a Billionaire's Funds!

Deconstructing a 6 Page Glossy

How to Protest Bloomie & Be Creative Too!

If you live in NYC, like Miss Wit, you have probably already received phone calls, flyers and maybe even emails from dear Mayor "I had eight years to do it all but blah blah I'm the king and I want more" Bloomberg.   Don't even get the Miss started on the Facebook ads that come up.

Silent protest one:  When the Facebook ads come up, you can click a thumbs down (or thumbs up, if you like the ad we suppose).  Then, you can you tell them why you do or don't like the ad.  Well heck if they are going to read it, then Miss Wit is going to say it. And, even if they don't read it!

Here's a visual. Try it! (Of course you can do this for any ad you would like to praise or protest) 

Protest Number two:  When you get those flyers ( Miss Wit has received three already )
Simply cross out your address, and ever so simply as well write Return To Sender   (feel free to include other Elvis song lyrics as you may so choose.. 'we're caught in a trap..." etc. you get the point!)
Feel free to add your personal sentiments as well..."address does not exist, whatever.

Visual number two: 
And then simply again, plop it back in the mail.   The mail person can't throw it out, that would be tampering. 

Try it!  Tell me of your tales 

Vote for the Invisible Fence

Vote for Miss Wit's Sibling's "Fail Photo of The Day" fail-owned-invis-fence-fail

A Day in the Life of a Street Fair HillBilly

After scouring all the weather sites possible, it was inevitable that it would it most likely, inevitably rain on the Fabulous Fifth Avenue Fair Market.

Little did we know the rain would not really be the issue, rather the gale force winds, on the other hand, eh, not so great.

Alarm goes off at 6:14 am (which is really 6:04 am since the clock is set to ten minutes ahead).
What the heck is that tree doing? Oh it is swaying almost 5 feet in each in direction.
Urg, should not have had all that sangria last night.

Hi ho hi ho to the shower she goes!  Agua she needs agua!

Drag the Chinese bags down the stairs, then down the stairs some more.  At least she has a parking spot so good it is marketable!   The winds howl, a drizzle starts down.  She thinks to herself, "please just if it's going to pour just do it now, get it out of your system, sister!"  It was only 8am didn't really need to be there until 10am.

Car is loaded, tent hangs out the side window, the load in is like a life sized game of Rubix Cube. It is down to a science. Sorta.

Stop for a bagel. She shouldn't but she does. She shouldn't but she does. She shouldn't but...well you get the picture. Coffffeeeee!

Drizzle, Drizzle, Wind.  Did she mention it was cold too?

Turns out a market buddy, vintage scarf transformer - The Original Bead Scarf  was already there, straight outta Queens.   

Miss Wit moves slowly, still convinced it is going to pour any minute...drag out the tent. Look helpless enough to get neighbor to help. Spend about 40 minutes obsessing over how on earth to put the sides up.  Lorina - creator of the BeadScarf, figures it out.  Unload bags....quick go find a parking spot!

Call sassy Lucy from Develop Don't Destroy Brooklyn   let her know where you will be so she can bring some tees and pamphlets to give the unsuspecting Fair goers who all eventually ask "yeah what is going on with that project I thought it was dead?"

Come back to spot, and think, hmm did she turn a wrong corner, what happened to her tent?  Doh dee doh...
HOLY CRAP!  She looks ahead. About 4 friendly folks are bringing the tent down from off the branch it is stuck on.  It takes a moment to sink in the scene.  She digs it finally. Clearly they saved the tent from flying straight into the  block long windowed grocery store.

OH CRAP.  How much sillier could she feel?  And like that, the helpers disperse...who were those masked helpers?  
One guy just gives a whisper of advice as his serious eye brows cover his dark knowing eyes "take the sides down, it's basically like a sail boat affect with them up,  in this wind.  Trust me. I've been around."

Well okay! Will do.   She gives an elbow to the friend in the next spot. "Wow....and he was cute!"

She was one of the early ones, but she takes what feels like 3 hours to set up.  It's a wonderful life when you love what you do!  Anything is better than last year, when some fake French accented guy had his dog crap in her spot while she was setting up, and gave HER the nasty look!  Words were spoken.   

Finally 11:30 it's go time...bring it.

She gets a total of  5 encounters that start with   "Heyyyyy it's Miss Wit from Rocky's!"   That's right the lucky prize winners of Scott Turner's now infamous quiz to end all quiz nights Rocky Sullivan's Quiz Night -  were in the Fifth Avenue Fair Howz!  One guy has won about 5 shirts, which means his is the team to glom onto!

She sees relatives, old friends, tried and true wit revelers, big dogs, babies, babies, babies, punkers, youngsters, hipsters.   She wonders, can one charge for laughs?

Lucy comes by with her table, and some DDDB tees, buttons, some "Defeat Bloomberg" Stickers ( yes!) and her usual energy and sass.   If you don't buy a shirt she'll bop ya!  She's a good sales woman, by the end of the day Miss Wit trusts her completely, sits back and watches her collect da money!

There's a drizzle during the day and some gusty winds but all in all a lucky day of no pouring it turns out to be!

Most proud moment - towards the end of the day a drunken sass pot gal comes by and says "How about $15" for this hot off the presses silk like Japanese Sewer Cover Tee. 
Now,  the Miss is generally overly generous and has been known to even initiate the barter (not the best strategy she knows), but sometimes you get a vibe that tells you to stand your ground and say, "uh no."

Miss says "No sorry, I can do $18" (regretfully actually!)   Woman says "Why?"
Miss says well, you're blowing cigarette smoke all over my booth and you're going to buy a ten dollar pack of cigarettes, and those might kill you.  So, um, that's why."

Woman says, "But I'm quitting," as she blows more smoke all over the booth.    "Okay Fine! "  As she squashes the cigarette on the ground she slurs through her street fair beer buzz, "I'll take it...I suppawt the ahts and all!"

Sangria, Sausage and Tees - This Weekend

It's a bonanza of saleza this weekend.

Check out Miss Wit with some pals as they sell their creations to help raise money for Manhattan's only cultural arts district Fourth Arts Block  or better known as FAB.   You can shop in a theater, and if you feel like singing on the stage, we ain't gonna stop ya!

Come check us out Saturday May 16th  

Teatro Circulo Theater
64 East 4th street

Sunday may 17th
It's the 
The Fabulous
Fifth Avenue Fair

Park Slope, Brooklyn

Check out Miss Wit
Fifth Avenue @ President Street!

Hold on to Your Guns, There's a New Doosh Bag in Town!

From the I spy a winner series.

The Miss took a little pre-summer freeing of the mind, to let the air back in, in...La La Land, vacay.   A sea of Lexi and BMWi's with Obama Stickers, what a breath of fresh air to see this kind of doosh bag, sitting on the public bench, eating his taxed pizza, at the hippy dippy salad on your pizza joint of Abbot Kinney, while wearing this holy un-ironic, hipster be damned shirt, undoubtedly manufactured in China.

But darn if he don't love America!  Ain't freedom delicious?!

Doosh bag says wha?

Seed Bombs

Miss saw these at a market in Brooklyn yesterday.
She don't have a garden, but erroneous lots, that we can find! 

 These seed bombs were handmade by softelbow.
The seeds are marigolds, harvested over an 8 mo. span in 2008 from a fire escape planter in Brooklyn. The soil is compost from the community garden.

When spring-time comes, simply throw these babies into an inhospitable terrain, landfill, empty lot or unsightly landscape...then coyly walk away.

The seed bombs will self-germinate when the right conditions occur. You need not do a thing.
Seed Bombs  Get em here

Tell em Miss Wit sent ya!